How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
it's great music for shaving your balls
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
