yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize