Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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