Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
