My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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