My brain says no but my pants say off.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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