it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
