Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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