do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
