There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
