good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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