I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
