I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
