cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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