i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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