my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
