I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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