I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
