You work out of a Hotel?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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