Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
