I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
