Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Randomize
