just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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