found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
