K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Randomize
