no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
