Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
