Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We're too hungover to prance.
we're so committed to being not committed
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