so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
