weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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