you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
