You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
