is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Found your dick twin last night
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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