She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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