We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
