Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
