he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
