We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
