I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
