I'm drive I can fine osifer
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
