You work out of a Hotel?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
