I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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