my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
