told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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