Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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