Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
