I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize