ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
