When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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