I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
