Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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