Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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