haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
