I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
