season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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