ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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