Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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